I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
