everyone is single if you try hard enough
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
