I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
