I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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