saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
