Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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