Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
