No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
