This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This baby is an asshole
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
