And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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