There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
