we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
