their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
