sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Farmville is her only friend.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
