garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Randomize
