I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
