Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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