I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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