so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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