Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
