dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize