Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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