the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We have started to decorate penises.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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