so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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