I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
