Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
