K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
