Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
