In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
