before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
