were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
