Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
