eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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