i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
