Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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