Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
