You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
