the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
