you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
