who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
