Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my being single is dangerous.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
