I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
