Moan for me like Helen Keller
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We smell like vodka and hangover
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