wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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