I didn't shave. On purpose
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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