batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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