So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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