How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
