I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
