Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
