Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She announced her abortion via fbk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
