Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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