champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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