I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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