Kiss
Puke
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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