how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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