She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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