Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you had me at cake vodka
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
