just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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