Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
These tits shall not be calmed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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