Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
