he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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