u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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