Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
