New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
