and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
