Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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