Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
